i'm going to try and be nicer..

apparently this is how people are meant to be..

:')

feelings are hard to express,

and usually i'm pretty crappy at it anyway.

at first i thought it was different,

i wanted something new and exciting and not what i was used to,

but i guess what i really wanted, was to be different.

because sure i'm glad it all happened,

and yes i've enjoyed it and don't regret a thing,

but i think boredom is setting in, which is the old me.

i don't know why, but this always happens and i really want it to change,

because it'll only end up hurting in the end.

you are a twat..

most of the time.

unfortunately, this is true for almost everyone..

things are crazy, always moving so fast..

sometimes i sit and wonder, what would my life be like if i hadn't made the right choice,

if maybe i'd have chosen a different route, where would i be now?

i hate to think about the bad things to come out of my choice,
but overall, i think it's been worth it,

and it's not over yet..

i think it's hard because i still think of you as one of my best friends,

and i know i'm shit with texting back and all of that,

but i always have been, so nothing's really changed there.

and i hate that i don't see you much,

and that we don't talk as much as i know we should,

and yes of course it's mostly my fault..

my organisation skills are pretty shocking for one,

and i find it hard to divide my time equally.

but i do know this, and i'm trying to change it..

just so i don't lose you completely.

but i think maybe if you put yourself in my shoes you'd realise why it would upset me,

and the biggest thing is, i thought you'd be the one to miss me,

because i expect the others probably don't.

so yes i miss you alot, and i hate that i didn't make more of an effort,

but just don't give up on me yet.

hello 2011...

well, i won't lie, it slightly upset me that i didn't get an invite..

sure i may have been away and i would have had to decline your offer,

but that's not the point.

and i was lying when i said 'slightly',

because it hurt a whole lot more than that.