complicated.

i hate myself for feeling like this,
for still feeling something for you.
i have people telling me things that i never knew,
like how much you actually cared,
how much you talked about me,
and how you did actually feel bad about what happened.

which then makes me think that maybe you did mean what you told me,
maybe you honestly were just confused about everything,
and maybe it's my fault that i rushed you to decide.
but then i think of the 'recents'.
the ones who you're chasing,
or pursuing even.
and that makes me want to cry,
and makes me realise how lucky i was to not get hurt any deeper than i was.