april.

well april has had it's ups and downs,
but generally it's just been a 'down' month.

there was the start,
easter, chocolate, cute texts, cliche thoughts.
then the middle,
half term, heartbreak, illness, sad thoughts.
and then the end,
school, stress, exams, distracting thoughts.
and finally, the last day of an overall shite month.
in fact, today has been lovely,
pretty much one of the nicest days in april.

so i've decided,
new month, new start.

i'm not going to think about you anymore,
because it doesn't help me,
it only tears my heart a little more each time.
i'm not going to let you invade my thoughts,
control me with those words that i long to hear again,
yet know they're being used on someone else.
i'm not going to care anymore.

easier said than done.

in time i hope things will be better,
maybe you'll grow some and actually apologise?
doubtful i know,
but lets be honest, it's not like this is the first time.
hopefully we'll manage the relationship 'friends',
and i use the term loosely.
maybe, just maybe, next year won't be awkward,
because i need the escape, and i don't want you to take that from me.






goodbye april.